My sister’s boyfriend’s neighbor’s uncle gave his nephew the scoop which he leaked to his neighbor who told his girlfriend.. who told her brother (that’s me) what’s really going down. This “uncle” who live’s by my sis’s boyfriend was hired to drive Skip Heitzig around one Monday. After being called in at the gate, he picked Skip up at 6:00 am from the luxurious mountain estate. This “uncle” had never met Skip before this encounter, but recognized him from the many appearances on local tv. The thing is, Skip did not look like Skip..
The man who got in the back of the limo seemed elderly and all bent over. His hair was grey and his voice was strained. After several hours of driving, they found themselves approaching a fence in the middle of nowhere. Skip told him to drive up the the fence, and flash the headlings 7 times.. The first three flashes were to be short flashes, and the last four were to be long flashes. The uncle struggled with this, but eventually got it right after several tries. Suddenly, the ground below them began to shake, and the car was being lowered down under ground. Moments later, they were headed down a tunnel that seemed to be decending as they went. This underground road went on for approximately 20 miles. Strange: the odometer ceased to work as soon as they were under ground.
After about 20 minutes of driving, the tunnel oppened up into a large cavern which was lined on both sides by yellow barrels. There must have been a million of them. They all said: “space waste” on them.
Skip told the uncle to pull up to a small RV trailer that was parked on the far side of the cavern. There were no other humans within sight.
Skip slowly walked to the entrance of the RV. When he got close, the door opened, and a long slender arm with three very long fingers reached out and helped him climb the steps.. Moments later, the RV began to shake, and a bright light burst forth from the windows. After the light faded.. the door opened again.. and Skip stepped out, unassisted. In fact, it was the Skip that “uncle” knew from the tv. He was tall, blonde, with shiny white teeth and exceptional grammer. All the way back to ABQ, Skip used words that no common human understands. He apologized for the lingo, but he said he had to purge his system of the excess of multi-syllable words before he had to speak publically.
When “uncle” dropped Skip off, a guy in a black suit told “uncle” to look at a small device that flashed a light. This was s’posed to erase “uncles’s” memory.. but it didn’t work. You see, “uncle” was in Vietnam and fried his brain on Agent Orange. Because of this, the memory erase light thing a ma-jobby didn’t work.
Skip stepped out of the limo and waved to “:uncle” and said, “Yo holmes.. smell ya later.”
I s’pose that this all has something to do with the fact that Skip is a chaplain for the FBI.
